Posted by: Beverly Davidson, LMSW | October 18, 2016

Just Make It Stop.

Is anyone listening?

Just Make It Stop.  I can’t get these four words out of my head.  I don’t think we know yet how deeply this has affected us all, but I believe our entire country is being victimized by a racist misogynistic predator.  The notion of “when they go low, we go high” has helped carry me for awhile, but now there is no higher place to go right now than to stop the madness of this campaign.  My wish is that both sides of the aisle would end all campaigning and the media would stop reporting on it until November 8th.  Enough has been said and done, we know all there is to know, and our country is hurting.

“Please, someone, just make it stop.  All I want is for all this craziness to go away.  I feel tense all the time.  My mind is running in circles.  I can’t concentrate.  I can’t stop looking at the news.  This is so scary.  The people that I love are hurting each other now, just because we disagree.”

This was paraphrased from a therapy session I conducted with a client who is an abuse survivor. The person, who already has PTSD, now has secondary trauma from this campaign.  We are in a different time now.   We are seeing trauma at every hour through every news outlet, through every social media outlet, listening to it on the radio, hearing people fighting in the streets, in our schools, and at the dinner table. Children are anxious and one report shows an increase in bullying in schools especially as it relates to children of color and of different religions.   When little kids are worried that the color of their skin or their religion will get them sent away or killed it is time to stop. The vitriol and hate spewed through these means by a de facto leader of a major political party is more than one can bear.  The media is culpable in this, too.  They could have chosen not to elevate this madman into a viable candidate and just stop feeding his narcissism with attention.  But they didn’t, and they won’t.

Just Make It Stop. 

We are being continuously assaulted by the vicious attacks on humanity that is being championed by a candidate running for President.   He incites violence, intimates his opponent should be killed, tells constant lies in the face of facts, pushes the boundary when others say stop, attacks and demeans women and people of color, sexualizes childrendemoralizes his accusers, and threatens the very core of our democracy by instilling fear and doubt about our election process. Even if he loses, the racist and misogynistic evil he has awakened and nourished in his supporters will not go away.  I cannot implore enough how much his rhetoric and tactics are textbook abusive behaviors that are designed to make people feel crazy, fight like a primal animal, or just flee from the destruction so they cannot make a difference and bring us back to safety.  The only hope is that the pervasiveness and ugliness of racism and sexism have been exposed more than ever and perhaps we can work towards healing it.

Just Make It Stop.

I am surprised at how triggered I and others I know have been with this campaign. The stalking, predatory stance he took at the 2nd debate was the tipping point that set me and many others over the edge.  I could not get his presence out of my mind for days.   All the insults, injuries, threats, and memories that we survivors have worked hard at stopping are back.   And it’s #notokay.  

“I don’t think we should be doing this. Please, no, don’t do that.” He did it anyway.  There was a time I did not think about it.  Now, it’s all I can think about.

“No, no, no, not that.  Please don’t hurt me. No, I’m begging you.” “Shut-up, bitch.  You don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.”  And he did it anyway. 

Her mind is saying stop, but she can’t find her voice.  Her arms are clearly pushing him off. She’s trying to get up. Trying to untangle.  Frozen. In. Time.  And he did it anyway.

The words of a young child continue to haunt me and have become louder with each passing day.  When I was a child protective services investigator working the sexual abuse unit, I interviewed a young girl who was being sexually abused.  One of our investigative techniques was to ask the child what her 3 wishes were.  “What are your 3 wishes,” I ask. “Only one. I only want one.  I want him to stop hurting me.  But if I tell he said it would get worse and no one would believe me.  So I don’t want to tell you what happened, I just want him to stop.  Can you please just make him stop?”

That’s my wish, too, little one.

Someone, anyone, please listen.

 

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Responses

  1. You leave me speechless yet again! SIGH…


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